Life After The Assassination
Saturday, July 21, 2018
Confused
as to how I arrived at my current destination, I was fighting for each
breath. Simultaneously, wanting to live and die in order to escape this
living death. The assault of bullets in the form of lies and rumors were
coming from all directions. My body temperature rose and I felt the sweat
soaking my clothes, the tears in my eyes left an eternal sting and my heart was
ripped to shreds. In my moment of hurt, disbelief and confusion I had to
make a decision to live or die. Many of us have experienced being the topic of a rumor as well as being the carrier of the rumor. When
we are the victim of the rumor it cuts us to the core of our inner being. Yet, we fail
to think about it when we are the one who is sharing the rumor amongst people.
Oftentimes, we justify it by saying “the word on the streets”; “don’t tell
anyone” or “I’m just telling you what I was told”. As if it makes it
right. Whether rumors are true or not
when they have negative subject matter all parties involved suffer a loss.
I was 17
and pregnant. A few weeks passed
graduation. I had survived anyone finding
out at school, home and church. However,
I became deathly sick and almost lost my life.
This is where the story becomes devastating. While the rumor was true that I was pregnant
and almost died, the added commentary, the whispers, the stares and the
ostracism was much more unbearable. On
countless occasions, I felt like given up and contemplating taking my life. I had a harsh lesson in realizing, “sticks and
stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” was only a tactic
my mom used as way to help me cope with the schoolyard bully and in fact words
can and will hurt. At one of my darkest moment, Proverbs 18:21 (Death and life
are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit
thereof) breathed life into me. It allowed
me to take ownership of my truth and to rebuke what was not. I began to counter
attack those untruths with my truths with “I am Blessed, I have a Purpose, I will
live and not die and I am a child of the Most High”. I was no longer forced to confront my
attacker(s) and create a façade. I was locked and loaded with my very own line
of defense.
While words do not leave physical evidence its
impact can pierce the hardest heart and the emotional scars can last a lifetime.
Time after time throughout our society, we hear and see countless stories
of mothers becoming motherless because a
child has chosen to take his/her life, marriages playing out in divorce courts,
churches folding and dividing and careers being loss because individual are
unable to cope or resuscitate after the
attack. After surviving a few attacks, I do not consider myself an expert but I
do offer my experience. I believe we
need to become active participants in preventive and counter intelligence by being spiritual
grounded, being aware of our surroundings (people, places and things),
establishing good standards personally and professionally and develop a
mission/vision statement for our lives. Most of all we must want to live! My challenge
to all reading is to be empathetic, think before you speak and willing to
disengage in the practice of being a perpetrator of gossip, rumors or
slanderous offenses and understand the totality of the implications it carries.
Finally, if you are the victim of the rumor Stand Strong
a Refuse to Die and LIVE! Remember every storm will pass.
Estimated Time to Fruition - Undetermined But Not Impossible
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
We are introduced to the concept of time from the day we make our grand entrance into the world. Time is and will forever be life's most valuable asset. Consider the following, if you asked a woman who is pregnant or been pregnant about the birth or upcoming birth of their child more than likely her response would be "I'm six months pregnant " or I'm due on October 17 or " I was in labor 36 hours". Yes, childbearing will give any mother or expectant mother a great perspective of time. The loved one of a service member that is deployed will begin countdown to the time of his/her loved one anticipated homecoming. In the eyes of a child, time is usually fueled by the anticipation of arrival to a destination ("Are We There Yet?"), freedom from "time -out" or the number of times he/she was scolded. While the concept of time may be viewed differently for everyone, time is the invisible GPS to our dreams, goals and accomplishments.
I can remember being in high school dreaming about my future. In my mind I had my life all figure out. I would go to college major in Political Science, graduate in four years, get married, have two kids, be an entrepreneur with a successful company making 6 figures , living in a big city, own several real estate properties and my life would be perfect. Well let's just say my life had other ideas and I did not take in account that I would run into detours, roadblocks, traffic jams, stalled vehicles, accidents and U-turns. Immediately after graduation from high school, my GPS loss its signal and my dreams and goals seemed to have disappeared with the signal. I felt as if none of the dreams that I had envisioned would ever come to pass. The thought of never arriving to any of my planned destinations seemed inescapable. I could see failure, unworthy, no good, not going to happen and I told you so standing arm in arm in the middle of the road refusing to let me pass and continue my journey to fruition. My initial reaction was to accept this as my fate. Fortunately, I learned to read a map and understand while technology is great our God is greater and I pulled out my faithful map, the bible. It pointed me to Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. It was then I realized my dreams and goals may not go exactly according to plan but fruition would be inevitable for the plans God has for me.
As I look at my vision board, I can admit I have dreams and goals that have resided on the board for years and after each birthday I say to myself I'm not getting any younger and destination appears nowhere in the immediate future. Then I am reminded while the estimated time of fruition may be undetermined it is not impossible.
I can remember being in high school dreaming about my future. In my mind I had my life all figure out. I would go to college major in Political Science, graduate in four years, get married, have two kids, be an entrepreneur with a successful company making 6 figures , living in a big city, own several real estate properties and my life would be perfect. Well let's just say my life had other ideas and I did not take in account that I would run into detours, roadblocks, traffic jams, stalled vehicles, accidents and U-turns. Immediately after graduation from high school, my GPS loss its signal and my dreams and goals seemed to have disappeared with the signal. I felt as if none of the dreams that I had envisioned would ever come to pass. The thought of never arriving to any of my planned destinations seemed inescapable. I could see failure, unworthy, no good, not going to happen and I told you so standing arm in arm in the middle of the road refusing to let me pass and continue my journey to fruition. My initial reaction was to accept this as my fate. Fortunately, I learned to read a map and understand while technology is great our God is greater and I pulled out my faithful map, the bible. It pointed me to Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. It was then I realized my dreams and goals may not go exactly according to plan but fruition would be inevitable for the plans God has for me.
As I look at my vision board, I can admit I have dreams and goals that have resided on the board for years and after each birthday I say to myself I'm not getting any younger and destination appears nowhere in the immediate future. Then I am reminded while the estimated time of fruition may be undetermined it is not impossible.
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