KIDNAP BY FEAR
Wednesday, August 14, 2019
It was a sudden jolt and paralysis set in. My mouth was glued shut, my mind was on permanent auto play of all my past failures and I was shackled in hopelessness. I had been kidnapped by fear and my purpose held for ransom. God’s mission on my life remained stagnant as long as I remained hostage. Many of us live in a kidnapped state and don’t realize it until it’s too late or never at all. In 2 Timothy 1:7 it reads “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind;” however, we allow fear to bind us even though the word decrees that we have all the power within ourselves to be FREE.
For years, I’ve dreamed of becoming a published author and yet I struggled with moving forward because of fear of what people would say or think of me. The battle I engaged in took center stage in my mind allowing FEAR to set my thoughts on fire and diminish my dreams. I would use excuses of lack of resources and support to mask my fears, until I experienced a reality check when my daughter published two books revealing my fears to the world. “Mom stop talking about it and do it. You have a story and people need to hear it”. Now, I can only speak for myself, but when your children check you; it stings worse than being spanked with a wet switch. I can honestly admit, the sting still stings. At that very moment, I realized that I was being held hostage not by anyone, not by my current financial state, but by fear. My dreams and destiny were being held for ransom and the only way to get my dreams back and walk in my purpose was not to just recite 2 Timothy 1:7; I had to know and believe it with every fiber of my being that God has given me POWER, LOVE and SOUND MIND.
While I haven’t become a published author, I am no longer allowing FEAR to hold me hostage. I am currently working harder than ever on my first book and writing a blog. I’m rejoicing over the small victories. My challenge to anyone reading this message today is, if you have been kidnap by FEAR; fight back because you are EMPOWERED; stop defeating yourself because of what you think people will say or do; speak life into your dreams and finally walk in your divine purpose!
Life Just Got Real
Tuesday, July 16, 2019
The day in which circumstances sucked the life out of me plagued me a time or two. At those times, I felt life was playing a
horror movie on auto play in my mind and I was hitting pause with no pause in
sight. So many questions were screaming in my ear and I could not offer
any answers. I second guessed my purpose and wondered if anyone would notice if I
just disappeared.
Ephesians 6:11-12 reads “Put on the whole armour of God that ye
may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against
principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this
world, against spiritual wickedness in high places”. Therefore, at these
crucial times in our lives, if we have not properly prepared for a potential
battle we make bad decisions and choices. These bad choices and decisions can
lead to very detrimental circumstances. If we are honest with ourselves many of
us can admit going through a stage in which we did not properly prepare for
potential battles. During these times our line of defense have been infiltrated
and we became standing targets for an attack in which we lose our minds.
While many of us hope we never have to experience these times, it is inevitable
( 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as
some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any
should perish, but that all should come to repentance). Arriving at our destined purpose is our
purpose and it’s the enemy’s occupation to make sure we get thrown off of our
trajectory to our God given destiny; however, we must stop giving “the enemy” a
platform by using it as an excuse for our situations. Let’s keep it Real! Some of
the battles we face we willingly invite in because we fell to adhere to the
warning signs given to us over and over again. Then we become complacent
with status quo until the battle is charging at us. Normally, complacency is the
calm before the storm.
I challenged you, before the next time “Life Gets Real” get prepared and put on the whole armour of
God.
In The Midst of The Storm....The Breakthrough Happens
Saturday, September 8, 2018
As the local news begun to broadcast, the National Weather Service issued a severe weather alert. The satellites were tracking winds moving at very high speeds, massive flooding being reported in various localities and it appeared that mandatory evacuations were eminent. The images of the storm's destruction were heart wrenching and it caused my mind to shift into panic mode. Questions and concerns began to consume my thought process and it created a space for "little brother doubt” to have a field day at my expense. Have you ever experienced these feelings? Let’s be honest, when our lives are disrupted we go into panic mode first and react instead of seeking shelter to think and seek wisdom. Storms are inevitable in the weather atmosphere as well as in our personal lives and unfortunately there are times we fail to prepare to survive a storm much less weather it.
Storms are defined as violent disturbances in the atmosphere or a tumultuous reaction. Oftentimes when an atmospheric storm threatens us, we receive alerts and warnings from the local and national meteorologists. They provide minute by minute account of the storm's track and potential risk and devastation. Depending on the severity of a storm, it’s named by the National Weather Service. Just as atmospheric storms happen, we experience them in our personal, spiritual and mental atmosphere. The effects can be devastating, the aftermath may be costly if we have not taken heed to the warnings and prepared. The bible provides us with scriptures (warnings) about the expectation of storms in lives. In 2 Corinthians 4:8-9(We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed KJV) and John 16:33 (These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world KJV.) In both of these verses we are not only warned; we are also given the insight that we can weather the storm.
Thinking back to one of my life's storms, when my mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer and was given 6 months to live. While, I wasn't the one experiencing the physicality of the diagnosis the emotional pain of watching my mom go through the surgeries, treatment, excruciating pain, emotional roller coaster and physical change was heartbreaking. I felt hopeless and angry. What was I going to do? How could I go on without my best friend? Why my mom? My mom would lose her battle with cancer 4 years after her diagnosis and I would slip into a depression. I felt like I was caught up in a funnel cloud and destroying everything in my path. Too ashamed to tell anyone, my storm lasted for years and the aftermath was costly but not all bad. Remember, sometimes a breakthrough will happen in the midst of a storm.
Wherever you find yourself at this very moment, REALIZE THAT YOU ARE STILL STANDING! Put the energy and time into your personal relationship with God. Yes, I’m suggesting that you date Him on a regular basis (praying, worshipping and reading the bible. This is your shelter during your storm and your preparation before it makes landfall. God is FAITHFUL. I was on the verge of succumbing to my storm. I lost and had damaged tangible items but I discovered my passion to help others. During this storm, the sun broke through the clouds in the midst of torrential rain and the water was rising; it was at that moment I rededicated my life back to Christ. I survived and now living my best life and so will you. Unfortunately, storms don't have a time limit but they will pass and you can and will survive.
The Bounce Back - Defeating My Defeat!
Tuesday, August 7, 2018
The anticipation was at all-time high; it had been over a week since I walked into the conference room and gave the performance of my life. Along with my prayer circle, I had been praying, believing and trusting God for this opportunity. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, the job was mine. Then the phone call came and I was left emotionless. The caller said, "You had a phenomenal interview and it's obvious we would be extremely fortunate to have you on our team; however we have decided to go into a different direction." Frozen as if I had a broken record playing over and over again, the words were very familiar and I was paralyzed. Unable to speak, when the caller hung up, the dial tone was the melody playing in my ear, my thoughts were racing and the levee was breaking that held my tears captive. How was I going to bounce back and defeat my defeat?
Being defeated or disappointed occur in various forms for each of us.
For some, it's a missed opportunity, failed friendship or relationship, broken
promise or loss of a loved one. In those times we begin to feel as if we are
carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. It is during these times we begin
to question the hard work that we may have put into a relationship or friendship,
career or a project. Oftentimes, when we are feeling defeated our initial
response is of a negative connotation. Immediately, the pity party begins
and we are our own guest. Then our negative expression become inviting to those
around us. We then breathe life into “misery loves company”. A pity party
last as long as, you the guest of honor and the host continue to give it life.
The same energy used for a pity party should serve notice to the defeated
emotion and ignite a new outlook on the situation.
In some instances, we have every right to be
disappointed because something was intentionally done to work against us. I am
a firm believer in karma as well as what is for me is for me. Hence,
while I may have thought the job I was turned down for, the
relationship/friendship that ended or the missed opportunity was deflating to
say the least; I get pure joy when a better suited job, relationship/friendship
or opportunity is presented. We must understand that it is a test
to see what we have learned in previous life lessons as well as preparation for
future lessons. When this concept is mastered then our bounce back is
inevitable.
Life After The Assassination
Saturday, July 21, 2018
Confused
as to how I arrived at my current destination, I was fighting for each
breath. Simultaneously, wanting to live and die in order to escape this
living death. The assault of bullets in the form of lies and rumors were
coming from all directions. My body temperature rose and I felt the sweat
soaking my clothes, the tears in my eyes left an eternal sting and my heart was
ripped to shreds. In my moment of hurt, disbelief and confusion I had to
make a decision to live or die. Many of us have experienced being the topic of a rumor as well as being the carrier of the rumor. When
we are the victim of the rumor it cuts us to the core of our inner being. Yet, we fail
to think about it when we are the one who is sharing the rumor amongst people.
Oftentimes, we justify it by saying “the word on the streets”; “don’t tell
anyone” or “I’m just telling you what I was told”. As if it makes it
right. Whether rumors are true or not
when they have negative subject matter all parties involved suffer a loss.
I was 17
and pregnant. A few weeks passed
graduation. I had survived anyone finding
out at school, home and church. However,
I became deathly sick and almost lost my life.
This is where the story becomes devastating. While the rumor was true that I was pregnant
and almost died, the added commentary, the whispers, the stares and the
ostracism was much more unbearable. On
countless occasions, I felt like given up and contemplating taking my life. I had a harsh lesson in realizing, “sticks and
stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” was only a tactic
my mom used as way to help me cope with the schoolyard bully and in fact words
can and will hurt. At one of my darkest moment, Proverbs 18:21 (Death and life
are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit
thereof) breathed life into me. It allowed
me to take ownership of my truth and to rebuke what was not. I began to counter
attack those untruths with my truths with “I am Blessed, I have a Purpose, I will
live and not die and I am a child of the Most High”. I was no longer forced to confront my
attacker(s) and create a façade. I was locked and loaded with my very own line
of defense.
While words do not leave physical evidence its
impact can pierce the hardest heart and the emotional scars can last a lifetime.
Time after time throughout our society, we hear and see countless stories
of mothers becoming motherless because a
child has chosen to take his/her life, marriages playing out in divorce courts,
churches folding and dividing and careers being loss because individual are
unable to cope or resuscitate after the
attack. After surviving a few attacks, I do not consider myself an expert but I
do offer my experience. I believe we
need to become active participants in preventive and counter intelligence by being spiritual
grounded, being aware of our surroundings (people, places and things),
establishing good standards personally and professionally and develop a
mission/vision statement for our lives. Most of all we must want to live! My challenge
to all reading is to be empathetic, think before you speak and willing to
disengage in the practice of being a perpetrator of gossip, rumors or
slanderous offenses and understand the totality of the implications it carries.
Finally, if you are the victim of the rumor Stand Strong
a Refuse to Die and LIVE! Remember every storm will pass.
Estimated Time to Fruition - Undetermined But Not Impossible
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
We are introduced to the concept of time from the day we make our grand entrance into the world. Time is and will forever be life's most valuable asset. Consider the following, if you asked a woman who is pregnant or been pregnant about the birth or upcoming birth of their child more than likely her response would be "I'm six months pregnant " or I'm due on October 17 or " I was in labor 36 hours". Yes, childbearing will give any mother or expectant mother a great perspective of time. The loved one of a service member that is deployed will begin countdown to the time of his/her loved one anticipated homecoming. In the eyes of a child, time is usually fueled by the anticipation of arrival to a destination ("Are We There Yet?"), freedom from "time -out" or the number of times he/she was scolded. While the concept of time may be viewed differently for everyone, time is the invisible GPS to our dreams, goals and accomplishments.
I can remember being in high school dreaming about my future. In my mind I had my life all figure out. I would go to college major in Political Science, graduate in four years, get married, have two kids, be an entrepreneur with a successful company making 6 figures , living in a big city, own several real estate properties and my life would be perfect. Well let's just say my life had other ideas and I did not take in account that I would run into detours, roadblocks, traffic jams, stalled vehicles, accidents and U-turns. Immediately after graduation from high school, my GPS loss its signal and my dreams and goals seemed to have disappeared with the signal. I felt as if none of the dreams that I had envisioned would ever come to pass. The thought of never arriving to any of my planned destinations seemed inescapable. I could see failure, unworthy, no good, not going to happen and I told you so standing arm in arm in the middle of the road refusing to let me pass and continue my journey to fruition. My initial reaction was to accept this as my fate. Fortunately, I learned to read a map and understand while technology is great our God is greater and I pulled out my faithful map, the bible. It pointed me to Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. It was then I realized my dreams and goals may not go exactly according to plan but fruition would be inevitable for the plans God has for me.
As I look at my vision board, I can admit I have dreams and goals that have resided on the board for years and after each birthday I say to myself I'm not getting any younger and destination appears nowhere in the immediate future. Then I am reminded while the estimated time of fruition may be undetermined it is not impossible.
I can remember being in high school dreaming about my future. In my mind I had my life all figure out. I would go to college major in Political Science, graduate in four years, get married, have two kids, be an entrepreneur with a successful company making 6 figures , living in a big city, own several real estate properties and my life would be perfect. Well let's just say my life had other ideas and I did not take in account that I would run into detours, roadblocks, traffic jams, stalled vehicles, accidents and U-turns. Immediately after graduation from high school, my GPS loss its signal and my dreams and goals seemed to have disappeared with the signal. I felt as if none of the dreams that I had envisioned would ever come to pass. The thought of never arriving to any of my planned destinations seemed inescapable. I could see failure, unworthy, no good, not going to happen and I told you so standing arm in arm in the middle of the road refusing to let me pass and continue my journey to fruition. My initial reaction was to accept this as my fate. Fortunately, I learned to read a map and understand while technology is great our God is greater and I pulled out my faithful map, the bible. It pointed me to Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. It was then I realized my dreams and goals may not go exactly according to plan but fruition would be inevitable for the plans God has for me.
As I look at my vision board, I can admit I have dreams and goals that have resided on the board for years and after each birthday I say to myself I'm not getting any younger and destination appears nowhere in the immediate future. Then I am reminded while the estimated time of fruition may be undetermined it is not impossible.
The Grass May Look Greener But Is It?
Thursday, June 21, 2018
We have all heard or used the old adage "the grass isn't always greener on the other side." Truly, if we are honest with ourselves, some will admit they have journeyed over to the other side and discovered this adage has some validity. However, some of us may have a had a vastly different experience. If you are blessed with your sight, being able to see your neighbor's lawn and making a comparison to your own yard as to which lawn is greener is a given. While the landscape of a yard is not the meaning behind this adage it gives you a visual of the concept. If you have not had this life's experience keep living because you will definitely find yourself in the position willing or unwilling the outcome is yours to decide.
In a very transparent view of my life, I can remember during my first marriage thinking "I can't wait until I am out of here." I had every right to feel this way given the circumstances however during my thoughts of "I can't wait until I am out of here", I remember of thinking how I would be able to do so many great things without having to deal with his madness. Also, I was convinced that all my problems would vanish with the marriage. Why, because the grass was greener on the other side or was it? You see while I transitioned from one reality, my new reality came with weeds that if not properly maintained the landscape would eventually be the same as the one I left. In life we have a tendency to water, maintain and plant flowers in the yards of others before we care for our own. Yes, your neighbor's yard may be greener because he/she has put in the work to ensure the success of its appearance. So before you decide to take a leap to the greener pasture make sure you have done everything to promote the success of your own yard. Living life with no regrets is the best life.
Welcome!
Welcome to Dreamdreamer By Z, I want to personally thank you for visiting my blog today. Dreamdreamer By Z was birthed out of a question I posed during a tumultuous season in my life. What happens when the dreamer stops dreaming? Then reality hit me as if I had ran full force into a concrete wall. Instantly, I had an Aha moment. The answer to my question was so clear. You see dreams are the foundation of visions and visions are the blueprints to our future. This blog is the gateway of my purpose to coach, inspire, and motivate others. My blog will be a weekly healthy and thought provoking dialogue that will motivate the dreamer to continue to dream and inspire the dreamless to dream
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